Silence is golden

it really is. And I like it.
Question: Why is sitting by yourself sad?
Today after an especially good chapel, I beat the crowd and made it to the lunch hall just in time to reserve one of my favorite booths. The food was more than questionable, but I filled my plate anyway. I did choose to bypass the salad bar however. Salad's usually a good choice, but there was definately and large and very dead grasshopper in my roommate's salad last week. Bleh. I'm all for protein, but there's got to be a better way!
Anyway-so I got my food and sat down--by myself--no big deal.
I like sitting by myself--sometimes I prefer it! There's plenty to think about beyond the pretense of conversation. Besides, I don't get bored ever--and there is plenty to observe. For anyone who doesn't really know me, that's what I do. I watch people. Slighty creepy--i know.
But there are so many of them--and they all have different lives, and they're all thinking about something when their mouths are closed. I note the facial expressions, the mannerisms, the mismatched shoe laces and the little mole under a left eye. I see the way a group interacts--and I know which ones are friends, which ones were poilitely invited, which one is never taken seriously...and I see them think. The one on the fringe of the gathering--I know that she's sad. The guy nodding with his buddies doesn't really agree. I see people's self-counciousness, their pride, their disappointment.
All this while sitting by myself--which brings me back to my ranting. :)

Anyway--so I haven't been sitting for five minutes when a friend walks by.

"You're sitting by yourself?"

Whoa........apparently I am!
Are you asking because you're boycotting general intelligence? Helping me cope with reality? Tactfully assuming that I have no friends?

There were more after that.

Several more acquaintances made similar observations--"You're eating lunch alone?" and my personal favorite, "Why are you by yourself?"
Is there a law of physics that I'm not aware of? Am I offending my fellow students with 15 minutes of solitude? And beyond that--why do they feel sorry for me? Do I look sad? I mean, if you really find my plight so pathetic--why do you move on? You don't have to join me, but seriously---collect an offering or something!

Since when does "alone" equal "lonely"? It's bad enough when I eat by myself, or when people find out that I've never had a boyfriend. What's the deal? Maybe other people are incapable of functioning without someone "there for them," but I get the fork to my mouth just fine. I even managed some dessert.
Basically, I'm alone because I like being alone...and until I find something better, that's the way it's gonna be.


Alright. I'm done ranting. Now I will communicate like a human being. I promise.
I'm going home with my friend Whitney this weekend for her school's homecoming...yay! It'll be something different and fun. I'm also flying with her to Florida during spring break!!! I don't generally get excited about stuff--but I am sooo looking forward to it! I'm a big fan of the beach.
It's actually been alright here, with the snow and all. It hasn't been deathly cold, and the sun's still doing his thing--so I am happy. :)
I've been really busy with art stuff--so I didn't try out for this year's musical, but I'm not excessively heartbroken...at all. Meanwhile, the rest of my classes are going well and I love being here. I've made some new friends--still hang out with 1st semester people... Ooooooh! I went shopping the other day and bought a pair of shoes for six dollars!! They were completely unneccessary and way over the top but I didn't care. Basically, they're like, 5 inch heels COMPLETELY COVERED IN GOLD GLITTER. Sigh--I'm in love! I wore them to some kid's senior voice recital--that was fun. I went because I was invited, and because I like those singing boys, and...FINE, the Cheesecake Factory was like, sponsoring the reception!!!!! mmm.
Sparkly shoes and good food. I was a happy girl.

Well--I wrote cause I felt like catching up, but now I don't! :)
Soooo...until next time!