Snow

I miss you like summer
The sky falls without you
here--lonely
little moths--to the ground and lies
in pinions. I kick up their winter
pick up their wings, dim,
the first dusks of their dark:
the dark between our fingers
the space between stars

My roommate is purple and turquoise usually; she likes Kelly Clarkson and basketball. She's dated a boy named Christian for almost one year, and she's loved him all along. Last February, his dad died in an accident at work and she cried for him, picked up his pieces, touched them all and whispered, "live, Christian." 

Her best friend Jess called today, she's gone! Jess's mother died tonight and Jess thinks she will die tonight, and my roommate is driving five-and-a-half hours tonight, and the snow is lonely tonight. 

Her mom had cancer; her death was anticipated, but not so soon, never so soon. I heard Marissa telling Jess at lunchtime, "Everything's gonna be okay alright?" The shock of death hurts me. I felt it when I touched Marissa, held her and let her shake. It stings.

"Behold! I tell you a mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we shall be changed. For this perishable body must put on the imperishable, and this mortal body must put on immortality. When the perishable puts on the imperishable, and the mortal puts on immortality, then shall come to pass the saying that is written:

'Death is swallowed up in victory.'

O death, where is your victory? 

O death, where is your sting?"

1 Corinthians 15

To my darling Mallory:

I just received your lovely lovely lips in the mail. They were quite shiny! I have decided, since apparently my blog is "pretty much the only interesting thing unblocked on the internet" I will, for your sake, resume writing--for at LEAST today. :)

I do hope to hear from you, and I expect frequent updates on your current literary project, "Revenge of the Feather." The title is most promising.

This morning I had class at 7:50 in the morning, and my pillow was heartbroken when the alarm clock demanded my allegiance; I promised to return, however, and went to Computer Illustration where I was scheduled to present a project comprised of three vector images.








These are called "technical illustrations;" we were required to use black and white shapes to create a mechanical object.

I worked hard on the project. Unfortunately, I forgot to print my project on Friday, and the computer lab is kept locked on Saturday and Sunday. What to do??

With my hands clasped penitently and my most charming smile, I waited at the door for Professor Rudy (who incidentally, loves me) and greeted him with a sincere-- "MOST esteemed professor..."

I then proceeded to snatch his keys, unlock the lab, print, cut, and mat my project--and I was only 7 minutes late to class! VICTORY. Victory is sweet.

The rest of the day has been lovely so far...the only other class I had was Aerobic Exercise, after which I ate a bag of peanut MnM's and a Mango Smoothie. :) :)

Now I'm in my room, gently positioned in all of my mess: papers, folders, dropped change, half-written thank-you notes, post-its, photographs, haphazard jewelry, sticky tea cups. I just painted my nails--french-tipped-them, and listened to a John Piper sermon about fearless submission. He ended with a shout, of course; the declaration of Christ's love for the church.
"He died for her!" John said. "He died for her everlasting holy joy!" This is still ringing in me.

I love John Piper--especially this picture of him HAHA :)



He always says what I don't expect; He loves what is true, understands the beauty of truth, the shock of truth. Yesterday, I listened to him speak about sin--how he faces it again and again, how he is weak again and again. "Finally," he says, "I throw myself down beside my bed and say, 'Cut off my hand! Gouge out my eye! I will not yield!'." Basically he's telling God, "Hurt me! Frustrate me! Just don't let me sin against you." I want that. I want God to make me miserable if I'm not choosing to obey Him. I don't want to wander!

Anyway, so now is the quandary of what to do... I don't have much due tomorrow. I've heard that more snow is coming tonight. siiiigh. Snow has its place in romance, in lamplight, in winter, but I am ready for AIR. I'm ready for the sun...and AIR.

I recently learned the word "pinions"...fascinating, right? It means "wings" and I like it. I thought of two lines today that I like as well:

Today the wind was in your face
and every flag of me fluttered.

eeee! Read them out loud. They taste right.

I haven't written much lately, (considering my writing major!) but I will be attending a writing conference in two weeks at Taylor University. There was a small competition for writers, and one of my creative non-fiction essays, entitled "All Things" about art and love was accepted! I have to read it in front of the conference guests that Saturday...later there is a poetry workshop; I am nervously excited! There will also be two papers (one creative and one academic) selected as first place within their categories, and the writers will receive a small amount of prize money! I don't anticipate winning (especially since the conference is at Taylor University--I suspect Taylor students will win) but I still anticipate the chance; I can't help myself! Perhaps I'll post some of my essay later... :)

I will post SOMETHING now, however, of the art nature---I just bought an illustration tablet so I can illustrate in photoshop, and I just finished my first little digital illustration! I'm pretty excited.



I really just started with a doodle; perhaps someone could tell me her story? I am not entirely sure.
And now, I believe, I will do something productive...

I will write again!